3 Months in France

It's -2°C outside, and the thermostat is reading 14°C internally. Fresh powdered snow from last night masks the moss and signs of neglect on the floor of our balcony.

I have my TayC concert hoodie on, pyjamas pants, socks doubled up, a thick dressing gown to finish the look and a blanket over my lap, cushioning my 2017 refurbished MacBook Air - which has a battery that needs to be serviced after almost 9 years of service to me.

It's been 3 months since I've moved to Lille, France. I have looked forward to it since my husband and I made a plan to close our 13,123km gap.

However, Nurul/Fatihah from November 2022, taking the plane to fly 14 hours to France, giddy from excitement to order croissants in French and attending a concert, would freak and maybe roll her eyes to the back of her head if she found out that her life will turn out like one of the cliché romantic books she was reading.

I'm not sure what "settling in nicely" looks like, but I'd like to think that I have. I know it's really obvious to anyone who looks at me and hears me speak, but I've never felt or been treated outrightly like a foreigner. Of course, I live in a small, multicultural and diverse city, so it's not like I stick out like a sore thumb.

But anyway, here are some things that has surprised me since living in France:

Retail shops are closed on Sundays

Except the 4 weekends leading up to Christmas, where people need the time to purchase presents for their family and friends.

Food and beverage outlets like restaurants and cafés, and cultural experiences like museums are open. But most retail shops on the shopping street and even the two malls we have in Lille (Euralille and Lillenium) are closed on Sundays. I know grocery stores and certain pharmacies are opened for a limited time.

As someone who lived in Singapore where most shops are open on Sundays, it boggles my mind. Apparently, there are LAWS as to which shops can open on Sundays, and which can't. Because Sundays are traditionally rest days, and a lot of people seem to agree that unless your work is essential, there really is no need to work on Sundays. It's actually pretty nice to take a stroll down the street on Sundays because it's so quiet.

Also, yes, I have been to France before but I was only aware about supermarkets (I was concerned about feeding myself) and museums (because I visited France primarily for the museums).

Full Service Restaurants do not open ALL the time

This one still surprises me even though I've noticed it before. Restaurants are usually open between 11am to 3pm and 6pm to 11pm. Sometimes they are opened earlier if they serve breakfast or brunch. The only places that are opened all the time are "restauration rapide" or quick-service places like fast food, cafés and bakeries.

I always thought it was interesting, because French people are very habitual when it comes to eating (I married one who is very strict about eating at the correct time), e.g. breakfast is at 8am, lunch is between 12pm to 2pm, tea break begins at 5pm, dinner begins around 8pm. I'm guessing closing after lunch is to give workers a break and prepare for dinner service because, you know, breaks are a legal requirement for workers.

It's just sad because, sometimes I want to eat my lunch at 2pm and the only options I have left are a sad little sandwich from the bakery.

Eating cold food is fine

This... I never understood this. I want my food to be hot. I want my soup to burn my tongue. Especially in cold weather like this. I want it to hurt me. But no, when I ask for a sandwich it's usually cold. Pastries are usually sold as they are from the counter (no reheating) and people are fine eating things that have gone cold.

I think I'm just used to the idea of "panaskan" (reheating). You keep reheating your food to prevent it from going bad. Maybe it's because I lived on a tropical island and obviously there is limited space in the fridge so you find other ways to preserve your food.

That being said, sometimes I do enjoy a tartinade (open-faced sandwich) because they are so easy to make and assemble. I particularly love tuna mayo and salmon cream cheese, especially on wholemeal baguette. Delicious. Great for breaks.

Little social expectations to skip lunch for work

Speaking of breaks, let me just preface by saying that there are people in France who choose to skip lunch to finish their work or to have lunch while working. However, this is usually voluntary and not a requirement. No one is gonna bat an eye at you for going to lunch. In fact, you can report your manager or boss if they stop you from having lunch.

It's wild for me, because in Singapore's hustle culture, it's so normal to skip lunch or to eat lunch at your desk while working. My husband would come home to have his lunch (perks of living not too far away from the office) and back when I was working at a café in Lille, we had to be off the floor to indicate that we are "taking a break". When I worked in Singapore, we were always "on-call" i.e. if the counter gets crowded or overwhelmed with orders, we would pause our eating and get back on the floor to do our work.

Like, we're only serving drinks not saving lives. Eat your damn rice and let your colleagues handle it. If a customer can't wait, that's too bad. (Also just the unspoken ways that Singaporeans treat service staff - like they only exist for serving customers and not that they are humans with needs but that's an analysis for another day).

Diners can stay for as long as they want

I always felt a bit paiseh (shameful) after finishing my food and/or drink and staying around just to talk. Meanwhile, in France, you can stay however long you want and nobody's going to kick you out. Maybe I'm wrong and certain places might kick you out. But I've never been told that I should leave a restaurant when I'm done. I've never had to kick customers out of the café even when they are done with their drinks. I don't even offer to clear their table unless they've ordered something else. I don't want people to think I'm kicking them out!

Some places have a "No laptop" policy during busy periods like weekends to prevent people co-working (why are you working on a weekend, anyway?) but most places will let you stay for as long as you want, until closing time, of course.

Water is free

Drinking water is free in most establishments, which means that by extension ice is free too. Most times the only difference between a hot version and iced version of a drink is the ice, which is just frozen water, so there isn't a difference in price. No adding 50 cents for extra ice. No adding 50 cents for water.

Water is free. Drink as much water as you want.

Hard water

Ruins my hair, my skin and my glassware. I was always annoyed at the beginning as to why there are white-ish residue on my glassware like as if I didn't clean it properly. Turns out the water is hard in France. It also messes up my hair because my scalp has too much residue build-up, so I've had to reduce my hair's contact with water by washing my hair once a week only, and using a clarifying shampoo to remove the build up.

This is also why people usually have water filters, and/or drink mineral bottled water. The water isn't dirty, it just has too much minerals and are not filtered. Great for getting in more calcium and magnesium, I guess?

Roundabouts

This country has too many roundabouts. I mean it's bad enough that they drive on the other side, we have to think about roundabouts too? I can only think of three roundabouts I have driven on in Singapore: the one in front of the former Bedok ITE in Chai Chee, the one near the Stadium, and one near Bedok North Sheng Siong. Are there more? Of course there are. But they are insignificant.

For some reason there are way too many here in France. Almost every street has one, I think.

No street lights on lamp posts

There are street lights but they are usually attached to buildings. If there aren't any buildings in the vicinity? Well good luck. Parks are always so dark. Carparks are so dark. Highways are so dark. And during seasons when there are festivities? Only some places have twinkling lights for celebrations. But the rest... DARK.

Everything is dark and somber especially in autumn and winter when the sun sets at 5pm and the sun rises close to 9am. No wonder people get winter depression.

Rare blue sky

And even if the days are longer, the skies are rarely blue and sunny. I don't know what it is about this part of the Northern hemisphere. But we don't get much blue skies and sunny days. I'm sorry I kept complaining about how hot and sunny Singapore was. I do miss the sun a little bit.

Many Independent and/or secondhand Book Stores

As an avid reader it warms my heart to see people reading paperbacks. And it's also nice to see many independent and/or secondhand book stores just... existing. With a constant stream of customers.

As someone who watched book stores in Singapore grapple with the lack of customers and eventually closures, it's nice to see different types of book stores in France. Even the huge Furet du Nord has a section on secondhand books.

Maybe it's a population that is bigger. Maybe it's a population that prioritises paperbacks and physical books over digital. Maybe it's a population that encourages reading over media consumption. Who knows.

Vinegar for cleaning is a real thing

You know all those hacks about using vinegar to clean things around the house? It's not a hack in France. There are cleaning products that are essentially watered down vinegar.

It's safe, doesn't smell like vinegar and cleans pretty well especially for oily surfaces.

I eat beef and consume lactose just fine

I used to think I was lactose-intolerant and that I get sick when I eat red meat. But here, I'm fine? I've been drinking regular milk instead of non-dairy nut/oat milks and I have been eating halal charcuterie consisting of beef, veal and other red meats and I haven't felt sick from them. I don't know why. Maybe because France has stricter standards with regards to food quality? Hmm.