Getting my life in order

For the longest time, I’ve told myself to “get your life in order.” And I've been saying this ever since I left the cozy structure of formal education, where everything seemed so nicely planned out for me. Go to school! Get a job! Get married! Have kids! That seemed like a simple-to-follow blueprint to life.

Fast forward to my 31st year of life, and what have I realised? Life is not meant to be neatly packed into little boxes or perfect straight lines. Life, as nature intended, is unstructured, disordered, raw, and chaotic.

Humans, in all their brilliance, figured the only way to make sense of this mess was to create order. So we came up with straight lines, spreadsheets, and five-year plans. But, spoiler alert: life doesn’t care about your bullet points. No amount of colour-coded calendars will save you from the randomness of existence. And honestly? I've had to learn to be okay with it. To let the chaos flow even when I would love for things to be in order.

Some Things I’ve Learned After Turning 30:

1. Loving Yourself is HARD.
You know those Pinterest quotes: “Be yourself,” “Love yourself,” “You’re enough” and Subreddits about leveling up and whatnots? Yeah, easier said than done. The moment you start trying to “look inward,” what do you see? Your flaws. Every. Single. One. It’s like shining a giant spotlight on all the things you don’t want to deal with.

Loving yourself is a full-time job with zero benefits and a constantly changing job description. Some days you’ll feel like you’re totally nailing it, and other days it feels like imposter syndrome has asked you to forget about it. We’re all flawed—there’s no escaping that. The real trick is realising that those flaws are what make you human, even if they make you cringe at 4am whe you think about what you said to your classmate 24 years ago. It’s all a matter of perspective. Plus, every good TED Talk on the subject says you have only yourself to compete with, right? Maybe it’s time to put that theory into practice…

2. I’m Not That Grown. I Don’t Know Sh*t.
There was this magical age I had in my mind where I thought I’d have life all figured out. But 30 is not that age. If anything, 30 feels like playing a video game on a level you’ve never been on before but and you're not sure if you'll be able to restart when you fail it, so you just don't try.

But here’s the truth: I don’t know sh*t, and I’m okay with that. There’s a freedom in realising that no one has it all together, no matter how convincing their LinkedIn feed looks. If anything, adulthood is just a string of moments where you think, “Wait, shouldn’t I know how to handle this?” only to realise… Nahhh. I'm too young for that 😛

3. Some Relationships Are Meant to Die
Listen, not all relationships - romantic and otherwise - are forever. In fact, some are just meant to fade away like that half-drunk cup of coffee you forgot on the table and had to rush off to serve customers (true story...). And that's fine! People come and go; some are there for a season, and others are there for life. It’s totally okay to let things end. Just let it go, no hard feelings. At the end of the day, life is too chaotic to cling to what no longer serves you.

Just like Si Luncai, who launched into the waters with his pumpkins... biarkan saja.

4. Your Body Will Get Old, Cherish It

Look, I’m not trying to sound like a health guru here, but one of my biggest regrets has been not keeping up with exercises that help maintain functional muscles. You know, the kind that actually make a difference in everyday life—like bending down without sounding like a haunted door, or getting out of bed without crying. Functional muscles aren’t just about looking good, they’re about being able to live your life comfortably as you get older.

I used to think, “Eh, I’ll get to it.” Then I turned 30, and my knees started screaming at me when I take the stairs. The harsh reality hit me: your body doesn’t bounce back as easily anymore. Suddenly, I’m feeling muscles I didn’t even know existed—and not in the fun, post-workout way.

If I could go back in time, I’d tell my younger self to cherish my body, to take care of it not for aesthetics but for functionality. Not because I wanted to run marathons or lift heavy, but because I want to walk up stairs without cursing the building for being old and having no lifts (looking at you, Paris).

So, yeah, it's not just about hitting the gym; it's about making sure I can still carry groceries when I’m 70 without having to call for backup. Trust me, future me will thank present me for taking care of business.

So here’s the deal: life, in all its chaos, isn’t meant to be a straight line. The older I get, the more I realize that the perfect plan doesn’t exist. Life doesn’t care about your cute, little goals. What it does care about? You. Your mental health, your happiness, your relationships, and, yes, your body.

Sure, doing all the things that society expects you to do is hard. But the real lessons come when you stop trying to force things into neat little boxes and just embrace the mess. Accept that some crazy sh*t will happen beyond your control, and just get on with it.

So here’s to embracing the chaos, owning your flaws, letting go of what doesn’t serve you, and taking care of yourself—inside and out. Life is messy, and so are you.