4 AM Call Time

The air-conditioning in the car was a little too cold, so I brought it down one level. My mum's phone was blaring random audios of short videos she was scrolling through on Facebook.

"Ma, kecikkan sikit, kuat sangat."

My mum grumbled but complied and locked her phone, settling in the passenger seat and looking ahead. She knew better than to argue with the person driving her to work. I turned down the volume on the radio as well. I needed to focus on the road.

Despite the deserted roads at 4.35 am, my senses were heightened. Every little sensation was magnified; temperature, sound, lights. Aside from the car I was driving, there were perhaps 2 or 3 other vehicles along the roads. Some people were out and about - perhaps on their way to work. One aunty stood out; she had a hunched back and was carrying a small bag. She had a familiar uniform on.

My mum's work schedule alternates every week. Some weeks, she starts at 5 am. Others, at 9 am. It was too early for public transportation to function, so someone had to bring her to work. That someone was my dad, who was recovering from his knee replacement surgery. Hence, I became that someone.

The benefits of waking up early in the morning before the rest of the world have been discussed extensively across literature. I can't remember the title of this audiobook I listened to where it's just a bunch of quite successful people talking about when they start their day (usually earlier than everyone else), what they do in that time before they have to start their jobs and how beneficial it is to start their days early.

For a while, I hated myself for not being able to wake up at 5 am, even during Ramadhan for suhoor. It's like, what's wrong with me? At 21, I could wake up at 5 am to work out, do what needed to be done, and get to work at 8.30 am. What the hell was wrong with me now?

I don't know about everyone else but I knew I couldn't wake up this early because I don't even sleep early. Some people may be able to run on 4 hours of sleep, but I can't. It's impossible for me - at least at this ripe old age of (almost) 31.

And having to wake up consistently at 4 am for a week or two highlighted one important thing: it's truly a privilege to go to sleep early to wake up early. Most of the population can't just sleep early because of the neverending chores that need to be done before we go to sleep to maintain a clean, livable home.

And what about some free, alone time to decompress before ending the day? Most of us, especially caretakers of young children or the elderly, rest when we sleep. There is no such thing as alone time or whatever else.

I'm not saying waking up early isn't great. It's nice to wake up early to have some time for yourself to prepare for the day or get shit done before the chaos of daily life comes at you. But this is a privilege not accorded to many, and I wish all these productivity bros acknowledge that. Not everyone can afford to sleep at 9 pm and wake up at 5 am and have a run, drink a protein shake, take a shower, write a blog post, and still have the energy to go to work at 9 am.

The week I had to wake up daily at 4 am made me cranky. I went back home to sleep, while my mum continued working. Such was my privilege. I understand why she watches those Facebook videos. It was her time to decompress and prepare for her day.

And like that aunty and uncle who walked to work that morning, she prepared the world so people like you and I can go to our offices at 9 am after a quick morning workout in climate-controlled rooms and talk smack about people who do not wake up early to get shit done or whatever.